They say not to depend your happiness on someone or something, but sometimes it necessary to do so. Why? Because to generate happiness requires an object or idea; you have to be happy about something. I guess you could be happy for the sake of it, but who are you trying to please? Ultimately, we are all in search for meaning- the meaning of life…what it means to be happy, what it means to succeed, what it means to mean something to someone. Whatever the desire, we are all inevitably searching for meaning of some kind. We depend on ourselves for perseverance, for strength and for happiness…we are depending on ourselves to depend on ourselves. It is just a continuous loop. Maybe instead we should seek to embrace those around us and allow ourselves to divide our dependence, so that we are not pressuring ourselves to create this mindset where we are constantly trying to please ourselves- trying to find a reason to be happy and trying to generate a feeling that is not fully attainable. What I mean is, we are capable of creating our own happiness; but when we do is this happiness true? Is it completely reflective of how you are truly feeling on the inside? There is no right answer. But in my opinion when I am with other people ad with my loved ones, the happiness that I feel is greatly exceeds that of the self-generated. This may not be true for all, however I truly believe that in order to be emotionally connected to yourself and the world around, there is a need to depend on others.
Having said that, your dependence on others should not be 100% because once (for example) the person who you depend on for a good laugh exits your life; you may be left to fill the void. If you only had depending on this person for 50% of your laughs, you only have to fill half a void versus if you depended 100%.
I am contradicting myself a bit..I think what I am trying to articulate in this mess is that do not be afraid of depending a portion of your happiness on other people because at the end of the day they will amplify this emotion. But on the other hand, maintain a proportion of happiness to be self generated because people are like the ocean; they come and go.
Do you ever just get stuck? Metaphorically speaking. There’s this weird place I’ve discovered recently, where I am not happy nor sad- but somewhere in between that is somewhat indescribable. Perhaps, this is not a feeling but rather a desire; a desire to feel. The human mind is both fascinating and confusing to me, there are things that simply so not amount to words- things that are indescribable, things that are beyond the capacity of science…yet we somehow know what they are. Emotions, thoughts, feeling, consciousness they are all phenomenons that we know to be true yet cannot actually prove it. For example what is dreaming? Why its when you see vivid real images while we sleep. But how exactly do we know those images are real? We have all had dreams, but how do we know that what you classify as a dream is the same as the people around you? Likewise, how do we know that the colour red is the same red that the person next to you is seeing through their eyes? It may be darker, it may be lighter or it may not even be red, it may be orange for that matter. How do we know that what is happening right now is reality? How can we prove that? My reality may be true, but is my reality the same as yours and is your reality the same as mine? Also, what about the past? They say the past shapes who we are as both individuals and as a society; but how can we be certain that any of the events in the past actually happened? Lets say we can be sure because of the many different interpretations of the same event (like teh holocaust) but are the recounts of the events plausible? Each recount is a different version of the same event; none of them will be identical to the last- because of the fact that one’s pain may be another’s strength and one’s weakness may be another’s victory. People obscure and twist stories to make themselves central to their experiences; if and when they articulate their memories bits will be left out and bits will be emphasised. Nothing is objective; everything is subjective. Something may seem objective but the nature of the human mind cannot help but have a ‘mind’ of its own (pun intended)
I know it’s been a while since I blogged…so about a week or so ago I was waiting at the bus stop as per usual, and as I was waiting a girl approached me to ask about the bus times. Now, this girl was one of those people who you knew had a hard time everywhere they go; with huge teeth, big nose and stringy hair, she was no the modern depiction of so called ‘beauty’. What troubles me is that I had already formed a preconceived idea of who this girl was without even talking to her. And as we engaged in casual conversation I found out how real this person was. Her hardships made mine seem minuscule in comparison; stories of abuse and torment that made me feel extremely ashamed of myself for judging such a damaged soul. Every aspect of her life effected based on the way she looked- dropping out of uni due to constant death threats and people casting away her artwork. As I continued to talk to her I realised just how much she needed someone to express her feelings to, how much she needed a friend. In those 20 minutes spent with her, I learnt a very valuable lesson. It may seen very cliche but I don;t think people truly understand the importance of not ‘judging a book by its cover’ until they experience such a lesson. We can talk good of ourselves and create a desirable persona but to really be that creation we must have certain experiences before we become who we aspire to be.
What I’m most upset about is the fact that society has conditioned us to believe that persons attributes are enhanced by their appearance, or in other cases negative attributes are overlooked. For example a person who is both good looking and kind-hearted automatically becomes a person who is looked up to by others around them. Where as someone who is not deemed good looking but also possesses the kind-hearted trait will receive less recognition simply due to their appearance. How does the shape of your nose, the size of your eyes, the arch in your eyebrows in anyway dictate your personality? It just frustrates me that the degree to which someone is ‘caring’ or ‘sweet’ is emphasised by the way they look and not by the nature of the trait itself. Can we not just accept people for the way they have been created- for the way God or for the way our cells have arranged themselves to form a unique being.
I just feel like this has been discussed time and time again but nothing really has been done; and with the introduction of social media people feel the pressure to be somewhat presentable at all times, just in case someone posts an unsuspecting image of them. I guess forces of technological development and out of our hands but the development of society and eliminating fixed ideals is certainly a possibility. What do you think?
So a few days ago I decided to ‘trial’ a vegan diet…1. because I wanted to lose weight and 2. because I wanted a challenge. So far I’m feeling less bloated, more energetic and ‘lighter’ in a sense; it’s been tough though…not going to lie I did cheat a couple times (unintentionally) but that’s what this is about I guess, overcoming obstacles.
Anyway, there is another reason for this post; I made a Vegan banana bread/loaf yesterday that I absolutely loved, so I though I’d share it with you guys!
About 3 cups oatmeal (you can use gluten free if you wish)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 very ripe bananas, mashed
1 tablespoon olive or coconut oil
1/3 cup brown sugar, plus 1 tablespoon (I used coconut sugar)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
6 squares of 70% dark chocolate (or- of course- vegan chocolate chips) – optional but strongly encouraged
3 tablespoons oatmeal
Preheat oven to 175.C (or 350F) and line a 23x13cm loaf pan (or 9×5 inch)…to be honest I just used a random loaf pan I had:P
Place your oats into a blender and blend for a 1-2minutes until it resembles flour; you may need to give it some help by stirring it to surface the oats that are still whole
Measure our 2 cups of your oat flour into a bowl and add the other dry ingredients and whisk until everything is well incorporated
Place the banana, vanilla extract, oil and sugar and beat until well combined and creamy; pour in your dry mix and fold until just combined…DO NOT OVERMIX then fold in the chocolate
Pour into prepared loaf pan and sprinkle the 3 tablespoon of oats as well as the 1 tablespoon of sugar. Then bake for 30-40mins
Loaf is done when a skewer inserted comes out clean. Cool for 10-15mins before removing from pan
If batter is too thick for your liking, you can add some almond milk, soy milk, coconut milk etc. to loosen it up
If cut into 10 slices…152 cal, 2.6g fat, 3.3g of protien and 29.6g of carbs
Credit to ambitiouskitchen.com for the amazing recipe!